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NEWSLETTA
Artrumour
has been slumbering. The chill hand of winter, a case
of fine claret and the company of good, decent young
students, has meant that Artrumour has spent recent
weeks in a fog of pleasure, anxiety and occasionally,
terror. But now, spring is in the air, and with spring,
war! How will the art world face up to the oncoming
horror, we ask at Artrumour towers, whilst of course
safely barricaded by human shields hand-lovingly picked
from the RCA curating course? Why - by drinking more
warm white wine and putting up erudite installations,
god damn! Bring on destruction! Bring on global havoc!
You'll never be able to take away our evenings filled
with 'leading lager-bier'!
GOING
DOWN
Much tittering in the art world last week at the travails
of Larry 'Go-Go' Gagosian and his cack-handed attempts
to allegedly dodge taxes. No-one was more surprised
than the lovely staff at London's outpost who were kindly
informed about the situation by, erm, newspaper reports.
Go Larry, go!
DAYS
LIKE SNOOZE
Days Like These has opened and don't the Duveen galleries
look lovely? The rest of the show is largely ineffectual
but that's the point ain't it honey? And things weren't
all smiles and laughter at the after-show party. Co-curators
Judith Nesbitt and Jonathan Watkins turned up at Sketch,
where the after-party was supposed to be expecting to
be garlanded in praise, only to find nobody else had
showed up aside from a few Tate bods there out of duty
and a strangely inebriated man who only wished to be
referred to as 'Aldo'. Instead everyone else had buggered
off to the almost-forgotten Dicks Bar in the Atlantic
to an alternative after-party organised in impromptu
fashion by Gavin Brown. Cocktails and a generally good
time was had by all, in stark contrast to Sketch, where
according to reports from the mysterious 'Aldo', Jonathan
Watkins might well have been weeping whilst muttering
'It's my party and I'll cry if I want to'.
GET
OVER THAT PERT ARSE
Similarly heartbroken, but not crushed, James Gooding
is turning to art for solace following his recent stormy
break-up with Kylie. BBC3 has given the go-ahead for
a series to be screened in the autumn where the lovely
James goes round the world being taught about various
art worlds by fabulous and gorgeous art folk.
BIG
SPACE OPENS ON RIVER
Yes! Wait for it! It's the Musee de Saatchi just about
to open! He's even done a couple of interviews, bless
his cotton-rich socks. But wait! Are evil things afoot?
Whilst sticking up one of Hirst's monuments, 50 dead
pigeons secreted behind a chandelier fell on their heads.
Chance? Coincidence? A result of Ken Livingstone's doomed
Trafalgar Square anti-pigeon drive? No! None of these
- surely the birds were a mafiosi-style warning from
the original art godfather up the river, gently warning
Saatchi not to piss on his brogues. Artrumour loves
the Ghost Dog vibe to the whole thing - does this mean
Sir Nick will be brandishing a large samurai sword next
and dancing to RZA in a vaguely threatening fashion?
Erm, perhaps not.
GOING DOWN FURTHER
The commercial scene is up and down like a yo-yo. If
you want to know the ins and outs, don't bother with
us, read something like The Art Newspaper or harass
Louisa Buck for some info. As far as we can gather it's
the usual swings and roundabouts though: Jari Lager
from VTO has ruthlessly deposed Sharon Essor and now
Essor Gallery is called something else - but alas not
the Lager Gallery. The inside story is yet to be told,
but believe us, there certainly is one. An ambitiously
large East End gallery has slipped quietly onto the
market for £800,000. A pint of Jari and crisps to the
first reader who guesses correctly that it's Rhodes
and Mann. A plush near-Cork Street gallery assures Artrumour
that it's not in trouble despite its limited company
going bust. Rightho.
GOING
ROUND
Grayson Perry has upped skirts and moved to Victoria
Miro Gallery which at openings there will be at least
two people wearing inappropriate dresses at the Wharf
Road premises (you know who we mean, Victoria Miro people.
We've seen you!)
IT'S
MY PARTY BUT I AIN'T GOT THE DOSH
The British Council still seem to be reeling from spending
oodles of money on their last Venice shin-dig and have
been forced to cancel their planned mega-party for the
Saturday night of the Venice opening. Instead they're
planning something more small and less ostentatious
(who said hiring a private island was ostentatious?)
for the Friday night which frankly all sounds a bit
dull. Bring back Jarvis we say!
GOING UP
Hope springs eternal with the opening of new spaces
- the opening of Carl Freedman's new gallery, counter,
drew the crowds with its splendid opening and accompanying
party at the increasingly lovely Rivington Bar Grill
Diner Deli Gym Sauna Jacuzzi. There were mini-burgers
and daquiri type things. Freedman's brow remained impressively
furrowed all night. And further out east in the depths
of Old Bethnal Green road Hotel has opened up with a
Peter Saville piece. The great man made a suitably late
entrance looking sensually haggard before declining
to join the revelries and presumably going back home
to his legendary porn collection.
'JAMES L' GIVES LOVE TIPS
The East End of art world's master of love who only
wishes to be known as 'James L' was on hand to give
Artrumour his tips on hot loving. 'First I take care,'
said Lavender, 21, 'then I take a cigarette.' Ladeez
- form a disorderly queue!
DAYS
OF THUNDER
Before co-curating Days Like These, Jonathan Watkins
curated The Sydney Biennale which he imaginatively titled
'Everyday'. Watkins, 74, hasn't been approached to confirm
what his next show will be called but we're sure he'd
appreciate suggestions being sent to him at the Ikon.
The pretty human shields at Artrumour Towers have so
fact come up with 'Die Another Day', 'Day of Reckoning',
'Darren Day', 'Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays', 'Another
Day in Paradise', 'I've only had one curatorial idea
in my life', etc ad infinitum
MADSTER
'CALE' CUTS OPENS TIM NOBLE'S FINGERNAIL
We're a bit short of news this month but apparently
it hurt.
MADSTER
WOMBELL CAVORTS WITH SPURS HOOLIGANS
Yes it's true. Before Paul Wombell became the nice,
sensitive soul who runs the Photographers Gallery, he
used to be a socially committed photographer in the
1970s. One of his projects involved dressing up in Tottenham
gear and requisite casual wear in order to hang out
looking like a hooligan. Then, disguise securely in
place Wombell won over the trust of real hooligans and
persuaded to let him take their photos. Fantastic!
FRIEZE
ART FAIR NOT ONLY ONE IN TOWN!
Whispers in the East End suggest that an alternative
art fair based around car racing is to vie with frieze's
art fair, although reports that it will be called 'anti-freeze'
are unconfirmed. Meanwhile those groovy folk at frieze
are planning on music nights to liven proceedings up.
And rumours abound that the secret dinner that took
place last Saturday to decide who was in and who was
out descended into throwing darts and cut-outs of various
gallery-owners, with Nicholas Logsdail counting as a
'double top'.
DO
Go and stand by yourself in the last room of the Whitechapel
Christina Iglesias show weeping uncontrollably at the
beauty of it all. Pop into 110 Old Street and slurp
the Bounty Martinis downstairs until you feel happy
but intolerably ill. Forward any job offers you might
have to those lovely folk at Gagosian Gallery. Wear
sports casual wear this summer and revive Wombell style.
DON'T
Put Fischerspooner in any art music nights you might
be planning. Check into Hotel without leaving all your
money and your passport with the man with the elegant
moustache in the front room. Inform your staff if you
have committed a crime that may adversely impact upon
their career development programme. Cross madster Cale.
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